Velcro, when I was more depressed, I admitted to my T that I wasn't sure that I wanted to get better and that part of me felt like I deserved to feel terrible. She said that that's a normal part of being depressed and that the way forward is to do good things for yourself and trust that your mood will follow. We talked about what those things might be for me and I agreed to try them even though it seemed pointless. I remember going on brisk walks with my dog and the only good thing I could feel was satisfaction in knowing that I could report back to my T that I did her dumb thing and felt nothing. But then eventually I did start to feel a tiny bit better, which made therapy more effective, which made me feel better still. It became something of an upward spiral. And the good thing is that you don't have to believe that it will work for it to actually start working.

Ah, Velcro, I can totally relate. And like some of the other posters have mentioned, starting to see a different therapist at that point is what eventually really helped me (though not without a whole lot of drama and turmoil leaving the first one).

Not knowing your full story, it's hard to tell whether you're at that precipice because of some repetition and/or reenactment with your therapist, or because of feeling depressed (in part as a result of the therapy?), or you're not feeling heard by your therapist (she's pushing self-compassion, but it really doesn't fit with how you feel about yourself), or, or...any number of reasons.

From my own experience (and this is insight gleaned in retrospect), when I have felt like things are in such a black and white space in therapy it's been because of all of the above. I wonder if it's something your therapist can help you explore. Just recently, after my thousandth time of expressing ambivalence about leaving therapy, my therapist suggested that we treat the impulse to quit as information that's not really about quitting, and using it as a starting point for gaining more understanding. Which, like you said, when written out has a huge "duh" factor.

I'm getting rambly. Past my bedtime. The upshot of all of this is that I can empathize. And I'm happy to provide support in whatever form might be useful.