Yeah, I think I need to get over this part, because I don't really believe it will help-or help long term.



Thank you for your thoughts. I honestly don't know what is happening or what I should do about it. She said that if it is semantics and I don't like the word "compassion," we can talk about it--she just doesn't want me to roll around in my self-hatred forever, but that a goal will be helpful.


I don't think it is repetition with my T. It is hard because I so easily lose my ability to verbalize what I am feeling during session, and then spiral down and almost never tell her about it, except yesterday. A reenactment? Not sure. I think I am more depressed, and not sure if it is the therapy or that I need a med adjustment. I do see my psychiatrist in the next few weeks.


I journaled last night (not sober, a little afraid to go re-read it), and will debate if I will journal again (sober), or hand over my non-sober journal entry for my T to read next week.


This stuff is difficult. I REALLY want her to be the T that can help me through this. I do not want to start over.