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I had parts(I am only calling parts because otherwise they are just whispering thoughts and images in my head) that have been yelling at me on how they wanted to contact T to feel cared for but I refused. I insisted that we need to deal with everything on our own and not rely on the paid help as they are only their for as long as we pay them otherwise they could careless we exist.
They showed me how they could hurt me from banging my head to shooting myself but I stayed in control. We do not see T until Friday and there will be zero contact about anything other than scheduling.
Yup my life has been miserable so far since Friday but that is how it has to be I guess. Same old thing. I hate being alive.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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