Quote:
Originally Posted by Eleny
Thank you for all the responses on this. I know I should leave him but I can’t explain how difficult it is for me. I’m constantly tired and stressed over it and I wake up with nightmares most nights. I am desperate to be alone again because although I love him he feels like a bit of a dead weight.. he follows me everywhere and has no goals or real life of his own which I feel so guilty saying but it’s true. Everything is based on me. If I leave him he will be completely and utterly alone. It’s so hard and it’s starting to really destroy me mentally. I know what the right thing for me is to do but all I can think is the effects it will have on him and because I care so much for him I’m really scared. It’s gotten so bad I found myself thinking “If I was dead I wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore”. I want to cry all the time and I’ve never felt so alone and helpless.
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I felt the same way about my ex fiance. I felt responsible for keeping him alive. Then I realized that what I had was very toxic to my health, so I kicked him out and he became homeless. He was homeless before I took him in, so he was in the same position he already was in.
Thing is, you are not helpless. You can make choices here. You can choose to ask him to leave. You cannot be fully responsible for this person's life. He is not your child. You are not obligated like you would be with a child. But you are taking him on as just that -- a child you need to take care of. By keeping him there, you are enabling his dependence on you. You need to break free of that mentally and save yourself from drowning. Your mental health should come first.