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mtd said:
I need to express something, perhaps just admit it out loud.

I have been in recovery for over a decade. I don't have to tell you how hard it has been. The aftermath of abuse has nearly claimed my life more than once. And it doesn't take much to throw me off track, even today. I know what I need to do to stay healthy and safe and within a sound mind. Indeed, it is easier today than it was ten years ago -- even ten months ago.

But I get tired. It's like I'm on a bike and I'm always peddling. Peddling is my recovery program. I'm not allowed to stop, and even if I try to coast, the bike falls down. I hope one day I can just coast. Just sit still. Just be.

Thanks for listening.

mtd

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Oh how I understand every word of every line of your post.

Please know that you're not peddling alone and others are searching for that same goal of coasting.

We'll find it, if temporarily.

You are in my thoughts.

Best to you,

KD