^”high sensitivity to abusive behavior” This is brilliant! You are 100% right. That’s exactly what is the crux of the issue! I commiserate, as I have this too. And, even, perhaps I want some abusive as well?

However, everyone has something to offer the world. I disagree that life is not worth living without a romantic relationship.

But, I do relate to your feelings on the subject.

I think you suffer from severe depression though. The suicidality is the depression talking.