I'm sorry you're experiencing so much distress. Of course, as you probably realize, we here on PC cannot diagnose you. That is a job for a mental health professional. From what you wrote, it does sound as though Bipolar Disorder may be a possibility. But that's just a guess. I obviously don't know.

You mentioned you had called a 24 hour health line & they told you to go to a hospital. I, of course, don't know how things work where you live. Going to a hospital emergency room is certainly one option especially if you're struggling with suicidal thoughts. However another option would be to get in to see a mental health therapist, or a psychologist, & / or a psychiatrist if you can. The thing is, depending on what's going on with you in terms of your mental health, it may not be something that's going to go away by itself. It's going to require ongoing professional care... at least for a while. So please seek out some mental health services for yourself in whatever way that is done where you live.

Here are links to some BP-related articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some interest including a link to a Bipolar quiz you can take:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/day-to...sts_position=0

https://psychcentral.com/lib/10-smal...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-bi...olar-disorder/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/living-...olar-disorder/

https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/bipolar-quiz/