I'm sorry that you are having suicidal thoughts and you don't feel connected with anyone.

Not everyone in life is abusive, though. Surely if you reach out and look for healthy friendships you will eventually find some? You said that life is boring when it is all about you, but truthfully there must be some people out there who have also been hurt and abused and could use the caring that you have to offer.


I don't feel capable of having a healthy relationship at this point in my life either, but I hope someday I will be. And I hope if that is what you want that you will someday achieve it also.

I'm sorry that you don't feel worthy, or that you even feel at all like it's your job to convince anyone at all. I hope that you know you are valuable. And if you are feeling suicidal I hope that you will talk with a professional and make sure you are OK.