I think of how things were done in my early years; there was not much talking when things got hot and heavy. You made moves slowly and backed off if told no or had your hand pushed away. It would have been weird to ask. The one exception to that was going all the way and even then it was asking about protection with the assumption things were progressing to it but it also gave her the opportunity to say no. I read the signs well and wouldn't make a move unless I was almost positive it would be welcome and the few times I was wrong I backed off immediately.
Now I hear stories of women who felt like they didn't have much choice because they were in a situation where they felt vulnerable and were afraid to say no. It makes me wonder how much of that went on and whether anyone I was with ever felt that way. I hope not.