I always have stood up for myself from the time I was in grade school. Pribably because I saw my oarents NEVER standing up for anything & I didn't like what I saw in them & I knew thay wouldn't stand up for me so I learned to do it myself. Maybe I was born with that gene.

When I first moved here, I had an agreement about how much I was going to be charged for my rental car. Wgen it came to turning it in the cost doubled. I fought & won.

I am dealibg with something right now actually. My divorce lawyer required the NORMAL retainer for what a normal divorce costs. Only thing, my H never responded so he has never had to spend time talking or negotiating with anyone. I don't mind spending that miney to get it accomplished but then I get a bill for the warning order attorney which cihld very eell come out of the unacckunted for money I have paid in the retainer that he will never spend the time to earn completely....sooooo, I am standing up for the fact that the fee should come out of the money I have already paid him. We will see, but I always have my logic & arguments totally out together before ever approaching a conflict.

Actually DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness provides really good guidelines to folliw if it doesn't come naturally & even if it does, it helps to organuze ones thoughts & approach.

Had a conflict with my pakn specialist a year ago. I didn't win the the conflict but I came up with another solutikn for myself & never went back. I basically won because the care Ibwas going to get wasn't worth the money Ibwas paying & I got the treatment from my GP to do it at home fir myself that the pain specialist refused to provide I told me I could just come in more often as they lowered the med.....screw them. When I feel wronged I usualky come up with my oen solution. Now I have a good support sysyem to run everything by so I don't have to just depend on my iwn thinking like I had to the rest of my life.

Sometimes I use life circumstances as reasons to cover up a real reaskn so I don't hurt someone. Like in my perfirmibg dance group, I was ok with the partner I had for the waltz performance but his bunnyhop with the tango I just couldn't handle. It was justvat the time ehen a lot if personal stress came up with my divorce. I just bowed oyt if the group at a time when everyone had time to reorganize using tok much oersonal stress & not knowing when I might have to be out of town. It was true but I also just didn't want to dance with thst partner but didn't want to say anything tovhurt feelings & I really had no idea how thibgs were going to go in my life if they willingly made changes. It wouldn't be fair to anyone....so I looked at the big picture & decided that leavibg the group at that point in time was the best solution.....so loojibg at the BIG PICTURE usually determines my choice of how to react.

Usually if I have nothing to lose I alwaysstand up for how Ibam wronged & know exactly what my response will be if they balk at what I have to say.