Hi All

I was an active member of this community a few years ago and first off want to thank you for that support over that time. I visit from time to time and notice the same posters still here who were there for me then.

A few years ago I was a rotating psych ward patient. I was in and out of hospital ALL of the time, I went 11 years without having more than a few months of freedom in between admissions. $40,000 a year spent on therapy, more on inpatient treatment. I was on an outrageous amount of medication and had no idea of the extent of their side effects. I drew the line at ECT and weekly injections. I sought support on this forum but when I realised the meds were doing me more harm than good, I had to leave for my "new" life and deleted my account.

Fast forward to now and I am med free, back in the workforce, living independently in my own home and stable.

Looking back i can clearly see that the medication cocktails I was on were the cause of my issues. I have since discovered a physical reason via CT for my pain symptoms and the initial complaint which got me put on SSRI's was never in my head - there was a painful and physical reason for it. I did not react well to SSRIs and from there was diagnosed with Bi Polar, OCD, PTSD, PMDD and Anxiety. (Also major depression but that to me, was because I was told I was fked in the head). I agree I am an anxious type person, but off meds and out of psychiatric treatment this is MUCH easier to deal with. I was given near on every medication on the market.

Am I cured? I have ceased the medication and learnt to deal with my pain and anxiety in med-free ways. I work, I play I love life. There are so many improvements and I never knew life could be so amazing. Is this a bi-polar success story or was I never actually bipolar (despite it being on my hospital records)? Was it a misdiagnosis?

I have been out of hospital and treatment for 3 years - but the withdrawl from the meds was brutal and permanently scarring for me. I will never accept medication or a mental health label again. I am worried for others that may be in the same sinking boat - with no idea that learning to swim to shore brings joy I can not even describe.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Thanks for being a support forum for when I needed it. I hope my story resonates with others who are being tortured with inhumane treatment - perhaps misdiagnosed, and brings hope to those that have none. Life is worth it on the other side. I hope we can all find it.