I can really relate to your situation, EnigmaticBeing. I'm also "in theory" female, and don't mind she/her pronouns, but grew up in a house where my mother was nervous about my more traditionally masculine interests. There's a funny picture of me having a dainty tea party while wearing a Chicago Bulls jersey, and that sums me up pretty neatly.

Today, I consider myself genderqueer or agender, and roll with she/her pronouns for the sake of ease. I'm married to another person who was also assigned female at birth and uses she/her, but is questioning her identity and is more non-conforming than me. I think we've both come to the same conclusion you did, where you don't apply gender to yourself.

My mother still comments on my makeup (or lack thereof) and gifts me dresses and passive aggressively bemoans my wardrobe choices, but I'll tell you, it's a lot easier to let that stuff roll off my back now that I'm living away from her and with a community of other queer folks. I know you must be in a stressful circumstance with all that pressure from your mom (and society in general). I also know my message is old news, but it really does get better. As you get older, you get the chance to form your own families, where you're more free to be yourself without the well-meaning but often straining influence of the folks who raised you.

My relationship with my mom has actually improved quite a bit now that I'm more comfortable with my wibbly wobbly concept of personal gender. It just took time, endurance, and a bit of space.