I was wondering if anyone else here also does this.

Usually I feel like I need an idea of how to be a better, well... me.

Through most of my teenage years (and now) I have been obsessed with latching onto personalities and using them for myself. I can watch interviews of celebrities and be intrigued with the way that they talk, or the jokes that they make. I have randomly chose people such as Jim Carrey, Emilia Clarke, Matthew Perry, or I'll even put on a stone cold, materialistic American Psycho act

(the self-centered part with the wicked morning routine - without the murder part, obviously)

But I'll get annoyed because obviously I'm not them so I can't live as if I have their brain and their thoughts and it usually tires me out.

Sometimes I'll even obsess over using NLP, using my language to make people feel a certain way, or I'll try to study facial expressions (microexpressions/macroexpressions)

I put so much thought into what I look like, say and do it literally drains me. Sometimes when social anxiety takes over and I'm tired I feel like people are thinking "wow, when did you become a monotone *****."