The person you want to be is not blocked by anything.CPtsd can't take who you want to become away from you. YOU and you only are in charge of who you want to become. If you want to be a giver start finding ways to give you time and energy to something or someone. There are causes out there to match your interest. If you are going to get better you need to take responsibility for that. As an adult you have to take control of your life. Continuing to blame is not going to solve anything. It just reinforces all the negative stuff. You don't need backups to become a better person. It only takes a desire from you to start.