I understand how much it sucks to grow up being abused and nothing is ever done about it. That was my experience growing up as well. I spent my young 20s wishing that I could somehow get the parents I didn’t have or have someone make up for the fact that I grew up without love or safety. However, as much as I wish life worked that way, it doesn’t. In order to be a happier person, o had to give up on the idea of anyone else “fixing” things for me and just create my own life by myself. Put myself out there to make friends. Take care of my own emotional needs. Build my career on my own (including putting myself through my PhD). You can build the life you want, but you have to do it for yourself.