Well, I'm at it again...

I've been irrationally anxious and irritable the past few days, maybe not quite depressed though I'm not sure what's going on. It's been very hard to relax, and I have little interest in doing "fun" things despite getting burnt out from a full-time job (i.e. I look forward to free time when I get off work, but once I come home that feeling dies). My bf has been super supportive and trying to cheer me up, but I still act out of line... crying, irritability, mood swings, etc. I'm dealing with a stomach issue right now that's not making things any easier.

When I do those things, I also worry that I'm upsetting him with my behavior, then I apologize. A lot. Definitely too much. I struggle with wanting to avoid antagonizing him, but in doing so I make things worse. I don't know how to control this behavior. Obviously he cares about me if he's trying to cheer me up, but that doesn't get to my brain. It's frustrating, and I feel like a bad partner.

I just want to have fun with him, but my anxiety has been off the charts, and I mess everything up because of that. Does he care? Is he mad? I don't feel like I ever know for sure, and that just exacerbates things. I hate being this way...