possibly triggerring...
...........................
.......................
...........................
........................

;........


................................................................

It feels as though i am falling apart. Just when people need me the most, i can't seem to hold it together. no matter which way I turn, i'm either hurting me or someone I love. There is no right path for me and i've tried so f... many. Even though I won't DO it, the thought of just letting go of this life has been haunting me. But the thought always comes back to being afraid to hurt my brother, sister, and husband. It is no fair to them, especially to my brother and sister when they have had similar pain. or my dogs.

I've struggled for so many years. I never thought i would make it this far because i was sure something physical would kill me. Now it feels as though i am dying a slow death mentally. How much more can we take? i'm sure more but i'm tired. I don't want anymore. Take it all from me, take it all and leave me alone. The world is too big for me. I don't fit.