I never want to think of him in that way, so no.... but I relate to you in the 0 experience area and I am nearly 40. My T knows but we haven't talked about it much. It carries too much shame with it for me so I usually shut down. I am well aware that since he was married for over a decade, he had a lot of sex, so it's not something I'd be shocked about but I just don't wanna visually imagine.

Anyway, since we are both rare in our cases, feel free to message me anytime if you wanna talk. I totally get where you are coming from