Thank you for your opinions. I would first like to address that we are in counseling. Have been for 8 years. Our couples counselor was quite adamant that this behavior from my husband was inappropriate. He stated that my husband was "manipulating control" by such an act.

That said, being in a marriage, my husbands depression is not his alone to deal with. It affects us all. He cannot make choices to cope that infringe upon the rights or comfort level of me or the children.

His choosing to leave the marriage bed was wrong. If it gave him some sense of control, it was misplaced and arrogant.

If we had agreed upon the situation this would have been different. We did not. He chose to wield force upon me in order to grasp at something missing within himself.

Last night I approached him again and explained that his actions made me feel disrespected. That I will not allow him to control me in an attempt to control his depression. I reminded him that "going to bed in a provoked state" is not appropriate. So that if we applied better conversation skills he could express his views without feeling so incensed as to need to leave the bed. (btw he has a huge problem with anger and rage...he has worked on this extensively in therapy) I again reminded him of the option to "agree to disagree" and leave the anger out of it. In the event that the topic was so heated as was our last "fight" over his dropping medications, we could mutually agree to sleep apart for a predetermined amount of time. That leaves each of us with the freedom to get space if we truly feel the need to go to such extremes.

Sunrise, your comments were quite prickly. I gather you have difficult relationships yourself. To allow him to simply waltz back into our bed after a two month hiatus is not acceptable. It required an appology and permission to return. Would you agree that had he left the house he could then waltz back in at leisure? I don't think so. When one spouse creates a separation, the ball is in the offended spouses court as to if and when the separation can be lifted. Otherwise, it is called enabling.