Just a note from someone who was brought up in a household not unlike yours, except the parents used us kids as pawns in the battle for who could screw over who more.

That aside, it was a horrific, miserable environment to grow up in and really screwed with our ability to form functioning healthy relationships as we grew up.

What was noticeable was our parents were almost nice people to be around once they finally separated...long after me and brother had got away from them, and they got on with something other than making each other miserable.

I don't know what you guys have but it surely isn't how you planned it, or wanted from a marriage. If you even really wanted one in the first place.

Go to a mediator, or marriage counsellor, try and separate amicably.