I would cut my losses and be on my own for awhile. I do not think he will change enough to even compromise with you and you will always be on the losing end of anything. People really aren't able to change that much. You are just 23 and have your whole life ahead of you. You only have one life..no do overs. I am sure there are many young men you will meet who have some aspirations. Don't tie yourself down to a 30 year old who has no real desire to move ahead in life and become part of your family.

I do g oh I really how skilled he is it be can't figure out how to get a job or take 6 years to get into university. Building in the back yard means only that he can do just that. Did he build it to code, did he follow direction...Those are indications of skill. If he is such a great builder why has he not pursued that as a career.These are just questions that come to mind.

I think you owe it to yourself to meet more young men to have some comparison. You have been with him since 16, so not much if any other dating experiences.