Yesterday I saw a movie with a guy and it was our first time meeting basically, so after the movie ends we talk a little bit and I ask him if he’s graduating this year. This leads talking about the future, and me telling him how I wanted to move out and how I would love to move to an expensive city (if it weren’t so expensive) to which he says that maybe we could be roommates in the future, you know, just to alleviate the pressure.

Tbh,

I don’t know where to start. I could say many things. You don’t know me. Why would you say that? It makes me irrationally angry. I feel like some guys are so desperate it doesn’t even matter who you are. You’re literally just the process they have to go through in order to get a girlfriend. I get told things and it’s like, did you even…notice anything I said?

I notice when, for example, guys send the same message they send to every other girl. It’s a numbers game for them. This is Indeed.com and they’re sending out their pseudo-personally tailored resume to every company just to see which one bites. It doesn’t matter which one, they just need one. I hate that. What a privilege it must be to choose, the incels cry. Because I love being basically nobody to them.

One guy kept telling me I was perfect, the first time we spoke, and I was like "You don’t know me". Why are you saying this? And he was like, that’s okay, we’ll get to know each other. And that seems sensible. It seems like I’m supposed to say okay, like why would I say no to getting to know them. Except it feels wrong because what they’re saying is meaningless. It’s entirely based on nothing. It makes me not want to get to know you anymore.

There’s something that I can’t put into words. It doesn’t feel right. I’m put off by that behavior. It just doesn’t feel normal. It’s not warranted. How can you know who I am to say these things? Does it even matter to you? That’s what gets to me. I don’t feel like it really doesn’t matter who I am. It’s obvious. I feel like a means to an end. It makes me angry.