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Originally Posted by ruh roh
My therapist has said she only wants me to be the therapy person, that others are welcome but that I have to speak for them. I said fine, it's all me anyway, so let's just forget the DID. She said it doesn't work that way, but the way she wants to go about it--which she said is different than say, 20 years ago when she did interact with clients' alters--is supposed to make the process go more quickly. All it does, though, is hurt.
We keep going over it and she keeps saying she's not denying anyone or not allowing them in therapy, but then she follows that by saying it has to be a team where I am leading and speaking for everyone.
I understand the approach, but it is hurtful. I am wondering if others in therapy have a therapist who takes this approach? She says it's a more recent thing, that while it's not fast, it's a bit faster. It feels kind of damaging inside, but I don't have another choice except to leave therapy, which at this stage is like exiting surgery in the middle of a procedure. She has accused me of sabotaging therapy, but this seems like a much more sure fire way to force an end.
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yes i have heard of this way of doing things with DID. yes it is a new way to do things with people who have co consciousness abilities with their alters.
I did not have this happen to me but I do have a friend who is going through this kind of therapy. she said at first it did feel kind of strange and hurtful but as she continued working with her therapist it didnt feel so bad, everyone actually preferred doing things this way after a while. everyone in her system discovered that when each was having time and talking with the therapist the therapist was only getting part of the picture. she told me it was like a jig saw puzzle where each one had their own pieces of the puzzle and no one was able to complete the puzzle but then when everyone sharing by only one being the main one in therapy everyone got to share even the missing pieces of the puzzle.
example in my friends memories there was a gap at a school picnic. she couldnt remember much. three other alters each had their own version based on what part of the picnic they remembered and were responsible for remembering. no one wanted to share or tell the others. then each were making their own guesses and assumptions based on their own little pieces of memories. but then when her therapist said no more everyone doing things their own way, everyone has to share with one and the one will do the talking. after everyone shared with the one and the one shared what everyone knew they had a clearer picture of what happened.
no one was getting upset anymore about this one told the therapist this wrong or that wasnt right and I want things this way. everyone was finally on the same page.
I asked my friend if it was like having too many cooks in the kitchen or too many doctors doing things there own way then the cooks get together and plan one menu or doctors talk with each other so that they are all doing things the same way. she said yes like that. its strange at first but she stuck it out and now her alters are all talking together and all agreeing on what to do about things when before they were not.
my suggestion is talk with the therapist maybe there is a way that you and your alters can ease into this new way of treatment for you all. maybe have a couple alters each with their own group of alters to be responsible for. where there is a couple different ones talking to the therapist for so many sessions then changing to less and less until everyone is used to sharing and talking in the new way of doing things.