I slept all day again. Just didn’t want to get up again. Depression is kicking my ***. I’m gonna try to stay up tomorrow. But I don’t think I will. I do have group in the AM. So I won’t sleep all day. I don’t know what to do to feel better except opposite action. I think the sleeping is making me feel worse because then I feel guilty on top of everything else. My son is really worried about me. He keeps asking me what’s wrong. Ugh I’m repeating what my mom did and I’m terrible for it.

I did look into going back to school last night. I might want to become a floral designer. The local community college offers an associates degree. I don’t know if I could do most of it online or what or if credits from my bachelors degree would transfer or what. I have to talk to an admissions counselor. It would awaken my creativity again and I feel like I would really enjoy it as a career. And it might be something I could actually do.

I also had an epiphany that it might be cheaper to live in the next state over. I live right on the border and I could move and still not be more than 20 mins from my family and treatment team. I looked briefly at apartments over there in the one town and they were $400 cheaper per month. It’s an option anyway.

So I do have things to be positive about. Just gotta focus on them and not everything that’s going wrong.