I wasn't sure where to post this, so here seems to make sense.

I am not used to this. Really good things have been happening lately, but because I am so used to having problems, strife, and/or crises, it all feels very strange to me.

The last many years it seems I have been fighting one crisis after another. And now? My life is finally all falling into place, one piece after another. My living situation got resolved beautifully, I found a truly wonderful man who loves me deeply and who wants to marry me, and now a great full-time job offer is pending.

But because I am so used to the opposite occurring, I am (somewhat) expecting bad things to happen. And I don't want to anymore. I want to enjoy this moment.

But this strange string of good things? I cannot wrap my brain around it. This is unheard of for me.

I am also astounded that I have actually found a really good man. With my history? Of SO many abusive relationships? This is also unheard of -- I am pinching myself.

I suppose if there are any emotions to be coping with, as per this forum, it is coping with feeling like everything is TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. Feeling like somehow, something will go wrong and awry..... or that somehow, I don't truly deserve all these great things and something will happen to ruin it. For so many years, I felt like -- I must deserve all this crap somehow -- perhaps bad karma from another lifetime kind of thing.

My written job offer is still pending, but it's simply a delay on their end. On Friday, I thought for sure that they had decided to put a freeze on the role. But the CEO wrote to me on Friday, and they're just internally delayed -- not a problem.

So I am rambling now, but has anyone else experienced this? Can anyone relate to what I am feeling right now?