I would also add that, one of the things that caught my attention when I was skimming through past conversations is M making a remark on H on his 'decision' when he talked to me less and less to focus on his studies, even without the intention of leaving, despite the personal costs to me. He followed it by a comment saying 'very courageous'. M's life is messy, he feels everything too deeply and it gets him into a mess despite his potential. I had always reminded him how great he would be if he could overcome this and we had always helped each other overcome our worst sides. But H really made M want to change even more, perhaps out of competition and realizing how far he is behind when he could be so much more. He probably felt the need to fix himself first before returning to me, because sometimes when he asks 'do you love me' (we do this childishly when we feel clingy, but we are not romantically attached, just friends), I would have said no I do not love you. I am attached to you but I do not love you until you fixed yourself. He did reply with a 'it could blossom into love'. We have both agreed we are not meant romantically for each other, the house would have been burnt down the first day. But I also know M, in his typical messy mind, would be capable of putting me at the side and telling himself he needs to fix this, before he could bring me back in. What doesnt fit at all is H blocking me.