Yes, I can understand that. But unfortunately you have to realize that it doesn't work. Don't even waste your breath. Abusers abuse because they think they are just, right, and you are weak and need to be corrected and controlled. I spent many a time wanting to tell my abuser he was/ did abuse me. I could have stood there till I was blue in the face, (and I have), and it just doesn't make a difference in their lives. They will read your email and laugh and say "I wasn't abusive LOL!" and delete it quicker than it took you to even type it.

The best way to stand up to an abuser is to live your life the way you want to live it and succeed. Get a new relationship, be happy, and accept you are wonderful and don't deserve to be abused in any way. Silent victory.