I'm sorry, your physical situation sounds very difficult. As for knowing when you hit menopause....for me I think I was in perimenopause for several years. Then I started having hot flashes, which are truly bizarre and even rather frightening. A few months after that I just stopped having periods. But, the creepy hot flashes have continued, although I'm experiencing them much, much less than I used to (stopped periods 2 years ago).

I also have fibroids and have had a couple of bouts of post-menopausal bleeding, which is scary. Last time my biopsy was normal. I have an appointment with my gyn next week & will probably have another uterine biopsy.

I wish the doc would just give me a hysterectomy, but he insists that hysterectomies can be detrimental to cardiac health.
*sigh*