Ok... so Im on my own again tonight and depressed
I have no fiends so I cant talk to anyone... only person I have is my boyfriend whos nearly 300 mile away at university. Hes gone out drinking tonight, but im miserable and i hate that i cant talk to him (dont want to text him 'cause i normally get upset more when he sends drunken texts saying how much he loves me... 'cause i miss him).
But the whole point is... im jealous of him I'm jealous of the fact that he has friends to go out with, that he enjoys himself, that hes happy.. I know I should feel happy for him but I cant 'cause it all just hurts so much... I want him to be able to have a good time with me but I cant see him much.
We had a falling out yesterday because he said I never ask how he is or what hes doing... and it's because I daren't... it REALLY depresses me, because I can't be happy. It's not that I don't want him to be happy... of course I do... I just want me to happy too. I'm really jealous of him and I hate it. He's my boyfriend, I shouldn't be jealous of my boyfriend?

am I acting like this because of depression? Or do I need to sit down and really think how I'm gonna deal with things?

molly