For now I’ve lost faith in others and find no reason to trust in people’s sincerity, even if they have the best intentions. Let me explain....

It all started a couple of years ago when I looked to an old friend and mentor for advice when I started enduring hardships at my university, but she instead telling everyone in my hometown about my problems and rehashed a painful history of early childhood medical trauma, which people have used throughout the years as an excuse to bully me and treat me like an object, even though these medical issues have long since been resolved.

My problems were only worsened when I looked to a group of friends that I used to love and care about dearly, but then later discovered they were part of a notorious cult. When I sought help from these so called friends, I would either get ignored or receive highly detailed criticism for how I handled the situation. Thankfully I came to the realization that these people were not the best crowd, but for awhile they tried to lure me back in with guilt trips.

At first I was relieved to find help from someone who also suffered the same experience as me, and found this to be a good opportunity to enhance an already existing friendship. However, his failure to respond to my invitations to spend time together even though he hypocritically burned up social media with news of getting engaged suggested otherwise.

Because people have failed to provide the help that I needed during one of the most hectic times of my life, I have become quite the loner and refuse new opportunities to meet new people, and believe that people will use any opportunity to exploit my weaknesseses or remind me of what a burden I am to others. I’m terrified about being close to anybody or getting help or advice including close friends and family. However, my situation has improved with a sweet counselor.

After getting into a argument on a family trip, my heart sank when they gently pointed out that I have indeed become quite negative and distrustful of people over the past couple of years. What are some of the ways that I combat my cynicism? Is it true that nobody really quite be trusted or mean what they say? Am I burden to other people?