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Originally Posted by Amyjay
I have an alter who can become very suicidal too. She is triggered by some non-specific things and also some very specific things and when triggered out she (used to be) hell bent on completing the act. She would research the means, create the means, set the plan and time, get rid of "evidence" (personal possessions like journals etc) and get all the affairs in order. (This is the determined to die part. No way would she release her grip or let anyone else out to stop her. She had a plan and her destiny was to carry that plan through to its completion). Then she would walk right up to the point of the act itself and -
- switch.
Every single time. And we would have to deal with the destroyed stuff and the given away stuff and all of that. But not be in the least bit suicidal anymore.
I think it must be an internal safety switch. (Either that or this is hell and there IS no escape).
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I lost a lot of stuff because of it. I sold stuff, gave away stuff....so that it would be less stuff that the living had to deal with. I would stop buying things like clothes as it was pointless. The dead do not need clothes.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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