Quote:
Originally Posted by Middlemarcher
I’m sorry that your T changed the boundaries on you. I think that when Ts loosen what is normally a boundary for them, they should consider whether or not it’s something that they can sustain in the long term. But I suppose that your T usually doesn’t operate long term anyhow.
I wonder if it would help at all to try to shift your focus and think of the boundary exception that she made (allowing contact on vacations) as what was personal, and not the change back to her usual. Since you were her only client that she allowed this for, it was literally personal, a gesture meant just for you. Now she’s just going back to her normal, and that doesn’t have to do with anyone but her. I know that rationality and reason doesn’t always help in times like this, though.  |
I understand, but this is a hard one to accept. I've been thinking that if the decision to contact me during a vacation was the personal part, and she took it away, maybe she'd be willing to replace it with something else? Like maybe another transitional object? Or what I'd love but am pretty sure she'll say no to, is giving me something that actually belongs to her, and I either take care of it while she's on vacation or I can just keep it. Ex-T did that for me. When she'd go on vacation or if I was going to have a hard week, she'd lend me a book of hers.