No, you're absolutely not ridiculous Fuzzybear, perish those thoughts, please don't feel like you're polluting the space either, hugs. Whenever I read or see a post of yours, it has the opposite effect of polluting the space. It brightens my day. Even your vents reflect my own feelings and so they're positive as well. But I do understand those core beliefs we hear inside ourselves, those inner negativities, my goodness, it never stops, I hear it every day myself - because of the same reasons as you as well. It all stems back to the past, yes - the very crappy past. You deserve all the goodness and love in the world, believe me. Many hugs to you lovely Fuzzy and I hope you're going okay.