Everyone posting here is right and I know that. I KNOW I should try to rein it in, my t usually does a pretty good job of it. I'm putting all my hope in this coming session, otherwise I got only what I can get here, which should be enough. I see people here turning away too, like those in my daily life. My neighbor friend won't even answer her phone or door to me right now. She said that I'm scary and she's right.