My mom disowned me. I resented her for never reaching out and trying. I felt that was her job as my mom. As a mom myself, I feel that responsibility towards my kids too.

If it was me I would mail a heartfelt letter saying everything you feel is important. Let her know that you will give her space and be there for her when she is ready.

If you split up with her dad, this is her grieving the loss of that relationship. She likely just needs some space to do so.

I am sorry you have to go through this.