HeyJoe, yes he does see EVERYTHING as his being controlled. Yes it is exasperating. My own education in this has given me the strength to be stern. For far too many years I was the wet noodle who enabled the negative depressive behaviors. No more. So like you, he has to choose his fear of being controlled or peacefulness in our relationship. He left the bed, because he didn't like that I disagreed with his disregarding of treatment. He crashed because of this and then wanted my comfort and wanted back into the bed without admitting to the problem. While he has my unending support, it isn't unconditional. He does have to take responsibility for behaviors and outcomes. While we have had a few productive conversations in the last two days, we are far from better. Today we compromised. Although he didn't apologise for leaving the bed for two months, he has admitted that it didn't solve a problem but rather made things more tense. Progress comes in baby steps I suppose. So for now I will be satisfied with the little bit of understanding he has gained. He has an appointment with his individual therapist tomorrow. It will be interesting to see what happens.