Hello JustAWoman: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the website to be of benefit.

I'm sorry I cannot be of help with regard to your concerns. Hopefully some other members, here on PC, will have some experiences, & perhaps advice, they can share. One other forum, here on PC, you might consider posting in with regard to this is the women-focused support forum. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/women-focused-support/

As you can probably imagine, this is a topic that has come up before here on PC. Here are links to some other members' questions on this subject along with the answers the original posters received:

https://answers.psychcentral.com/sto...-instead-of-me

https://answers.psychcentral.com/sto...-watching-porn

https://answers.psychcentral.com/sto...of-my-feelings

https://answers.psychcentral.com/sto...el-inadequate-

https://answers.psychcentral.com/sto...l-relationship

Also... here are links to 2 articles, from PsychCentrals archives, that relate to the topic of self-esteem & body image:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-tips...-and-sex-life/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-se...n-self-esteem/

My best wishes to you...