I feel so ashamed! I want people to understand me, to be kind to me and to support me, but as I start to write I want to give up.

Work and avoidant personality disorder are just too hard. I am not sure I can do it. People notice I am odd and then there's no escape. And I imagine only bad opinions/harsh opinions on me for the future. Yes because I have avoided responsabilities, I don't know how to deal with them.
I will be thought as the lazy one and everyone will hate me.

And if not as the lazy one at least as the arrogant one who doesn't speak and choses to be alone. I can't deal with both feelings.