<font color="blue"> Each of the next 2 Monday nights, at 10 pm Eastern Standard Time, there will be a chat in the auditorium (enter through the lobby) on the steps to resolving conflicts.

Before you can made progress on resolving the conflicts in your life, you need to understand that there are different styles of "arguing, fighting, negotiating" etc. Take this self inventory (this particular one is from Elemental Truths) to determine your preference of resolution style(s.)

THEN: Come to chat next Monday night!

<font color="green">Each statement below provides a strategy for dealing with a conflict. Rate each statement on a scale of 1 to 4 indicating how likely you are to use this strategy.

1 - Rarely 2 - Sometimes 3 - Often 4 - Always

Be sure to answer the questions indicating how you actually behave rather than how you think you should behave.

1. I explore issues with others so as to find solutions that meet everyone's needs . (___)

2. I try to negotiate and adopt a give-and-take approach to problem situations. (___)

3. I try to meet the expectations of others. (___)

4. I would argue my case and insist on the merits of my point of view. (___)

5. When there is a disagreement, I gather as much information as I can and keep the lines of communication 0pen. (___)

6. When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very little and try to leave as soon as possible. (___)

7. I try to see conflicts from both sides. What I need? What does the other person need? What are the issues involved.(___)

8. I prefer to compromise when solving problems and just move on. (___)

9. I find conflicts challenging and exhilarating and enjoy the battle of wits that usually follows. (___)

10. Being at odds with other people makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious. (___)

11. I try to accommodate the wishes of my friends and family. (___)

12. I can figure out what needs to be done and I am usually right. (___)

13. To break deadlocks, i would meet people halfway. (___)

14. I may not get what I want but it's a small price to pay for keeping the peace. (___)

15. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself. (___)

<font color="purple">How to score your survey.

Add your scores for each of the following categories of statements.

Add the scores to 1, 5, and 7 together.
Add the scores to 4, 9, and 12 together
Add the scores to 6, 10, and 15 together.
Add the scores to 2, 8, and 13 together.
Add the scores to 3, 11, sand 14 together

The one with the highest score would indicate your most commonly used strategy.

The one with the lowest score would indicate your least preferred strategy

Collaborating 1) 5) 7)

Competing 4) 9) 12)

Avoiding 6) 10) 15)

Compromising 2) 8) 13)

Harmonizing 3) 11) 14)

Take this week to be more aware of how you approach conflicts, big and little, in your life.

I hope to see you next week when we will begin to go through the steps of conflict resolution.