A friend was walking towards me with her friend from the liquor store and they were carrying booze and they said "What are you up to?" and I said "I'm buying booze" and they laughed.
I'm going for a walk with my mom at 6. She can't know about the bottle of jack I bought so I drink alcohol at night. I took a shot of moonshine. Quite immoral if you ask me but she called me to go for a walk after I drank it.
She was the one that told the liquor store to stop serving me when I was 18 because I drank too much. Now her excuse is that I have schizophrenia.
I mean, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just sick of this high dose antipsychotic medication and I feel nothing anyways.
I'm playing guitar with a friend at 8 and left my pint of rum at his place.
How do I even know I have a problem with alcohol? I just want a buzz. I'm a stimulant addict and think psychedelics are healing. I hate opiates because they make me feel numb and they're impossible for me to get addicted unless I'm in physical pain.
I'm just impulsive. I don't want mental health problems.
So yeah, that's my update...