As I’m starting to withdraw from lamictal after being on 300mg for over 10 years the old feelings are coming back. I have complex ptsd and bipolar 2 from the childhood trauma. The feelings never fully went away they just got suppressed . Because I’m low contact with my parents I get triggered when I have contact with them.

I did a regional ancestry test and found out I did not in fact have North American Indian in me as my mom emphatically believes but I did have middle eastern and North African as well as a more diverse European heritage then I was told.

I called both my parents but didn’t leave messages, my dad called back. He argued with me about what Mom said about having North American Indian ancestry even though there was none in my dna.

My dad has been invalidating me my whole entire life. He
always invalidated me when I told him Mom was abusing me.

Now that I can think more clearly on a lower dose of lamictal I can also feel the anger again.

I may see if I can see my psychiatrist this week as this new realization is aggravating.

Not only that one of my supervisors is abusive so I’ve got that challenge to deal with next week as well.

Finally I decided to become a Christian as a young adult and now I have to war with those principles as a survivor of abuse.

This is not going to be easy at all.