Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
Hi Alden,
I just deleted my previous reply. it was way too wordy and confusing. I'll go straight to the point.
No, it's not unreasonable of you in your specific situation to expect that your current therapist would report your abusive therapist to the board. She knows enough to make a report IMO. She knows that your abusive therapist lied to her and she has read your journal entries. She doesn't need to have hard evidence of what went on in sessions between you and your abusive therapist. It's not her job to investigate. If she believes that abuse took place (which she does), she is allowed to make a report. Investigating complaints is the responsibility of the board.
Now, I just want you to know that, as much as I understand your desire for her to report, her report wouldn't change much in terms of increasing the chance that your abusive therapist will be disciplined. The boards are overwhelmed with the volume of complaints they get each year and, sadly, third parties complaints are often dismissed. So, in terms of you trusting your current therapist, yes, it's important for her to make a report, but in terms of your case succeeding, it's not going to help much.
In my case, it was sufficient for me to know that some of the subsequent therapists I consulted after my abuse took place were willing to write a "to whom it may concern" letter for me relaying my story as they heard it from me. I was planning to attach the letter to my complaint. I ended up not working with any therapist and doing my own self-healing. But, when I considered working with those therapists, it was good enough for me to know that they would just write the letter. I didn't expect them to report my abusive therapist. They didn't know him personally. They didn't have any information from him. And they also just met me and just heard my side of the story. Under those circumstances I thought it'd be unreasonable of me to expect that they would get themselves involved. But, as I said, your case is a little different, so in your circumstances, I'd say, it's reasonable for you to expect your therapist taking some action to put her money where her mouth is so to speak.
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Now the question is how do I approach her without seeming confrontational or demanding?
Is it a poor decision on my part to remain with her as a therapist? If she isn't willing to support me, that hits a sore spot with me because I have an issue with moral cowards - they disgust me. It's a personally tick I have that paints things too black and white.
Another question I have to ask myself is am I just being unwilling to go through the stress of finding a new therapist and that is why I am staying with her?
In another post you or someone mentioned staying with a therapist at the same clinic to discredit the abusive therapist's reputation - that was definitely a huge added bonus for me for sure.
As far as the complaint goes, I've read enough online to know that the likelihood that it will go anywhere is basically zero. They did establish that they have jurisdiction, but that is meaningless. It just means that what I am claiming is a violation of law.
I'm not waiting for a resolution and I have done everything I reasonably can to damage her reputation through reporting to her employer and her insurance providers - all did nothing, so I'm done with that. There is nothing left for me to reasonably do in that arena and I'm not focused on that and I don't expect resolution.
I do expect that my current therapist will support me and her BS answer that she doesn't have first hand knowledge of the abuse has me very concerned where her loyalties lie - with her profession or with the abusive therapist, or is she just deep down a coward or lazy.
A confrontation has to take place, but I want it to be effective and non-attacking. I don't know how she will react and if there is another answer why she has chosen not to support me.
I'm unsure how to approach her and what to do.