TL;DR summation of my rants: I'm afraid of reality. Because in childhood, people unintentionally taught me that I was above following the rules of socialization with same-age peers and that I knew everything, and of course, the fallout was messy once I realized the truth. I knew they only meant to praise me, but that's the message they accidentally gave me. To an extent, it would be disingenuous to say I had a participation trophy childhood because I only received a participation trophy once at a bowling game and people did indeed praise me for my good grades, but in practice I pretty much had one because my talents ensured that I coasted through lots of things and if anything, it's more praiseworthy when someone is inherently untalented and yet they work themselves up the ladder by improving themselves. As you could see, the bubble I lived in fell apart. Also, I believe now that even if I weren't bullied in my teens, I would still have some psychological problems, they would only be milder. I would probably still see through the fact that reality is biased against me in some ways. One could only be left oblivious for so long, after all. I mean, reality is biased in my favor in some ways too, but I guess I just tend to focus on which ways life is stacked against me because I'm that kind of person.