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savingjanedoh said:

I think for someone who tends to be analytical or anxious about this stuff the first thing you need to do is relax. Don't try to figure anything out until you're in a completely calm state of mind. And if there keeps being uncomfortable pressure than determine whether it's his problem or yours. You might just need to relax. Just a thought.

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Yes...good thought when you are ALONE and SAFE but when you are with SOMEONE hwo do you knwo if he is safe enough to relax in his presence?

i don`t know. I am afraid. I didn`t even expect myself to react like that.

Then after i posted this yesterday i went to bed. closed my eys adn felt horney. i felt "the craving" and the heard in my head screams "NO NO NO PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE LEAVE ME ALONE NO NO PLEASE LEAVE ME"

i tried to remove it and closed my eyes agian. but the picture of the city landscape i saw from his car were flowing were there and then the kiss the hug and then the screams began again.

what the f.........?!
What`s going on with me...i don`t know what i want.