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Junerain said:
How beautiful, oxbow....to take something so sad as a friendship ending and to turn it into a powerful poem like that you quoted......and it seems you have come to peace with all this....beautiful beautiful............

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Thanks, June, this has been the most excruciatingly painful experience of my adult life so far. I still hurt very much from the lies and the denials. The truth may not always be easiest, but it is definitely best. The amazing thing to me is that she claimed that her lies to me, over and over, were because she didn't "want to hurt" me. To me, lying and the total, blatant abandonment without explanation was far worse than any truth she could simply have told. It was cowardly and outwardly cruel.

To publicize it in my own online community was worse than walking into my own living room and destroying it with profane graffiti. A dozen or more times, I asked in earnest if I owed her an apology and she lied right to me as many times.

I know that I am better off without her in my life, but I wish my heart would just come to terms with it. I fear that I will never, ever trust another mortal soul as long as I live.

Impala, I don't mean to hijack your thread, my hope is that we can both use our experiences to help one another let go of the demons in our hearts.