I am the Queen of this behavior. I think it may be the whole fearful/avoidant and push/pull thing that many of us do. I worry that I should be over this phase by now and that I’m taking too long to let my guard down, but my T said not to think of it like a class that I’m getting graded on. Some of us just take longer than others. I bring it up and you should too if that’s what you want to talk about. I’m sure your T is aware of this pattern and would be open to talking about it.