In principle I agree with this. But 68%* of sanity is knowing what belongs to me and what belongs to you in an emotional interaction. If a T hasn't really mastered this skill, they can't be much good at their job, can they?

A good T also should have good enough boundaries that I have no real idea if they're a hot mess in their real life. I'm differentiating here between a T whose life is currently a hot mess—we all have complicated lives—and a T who is basically cray in the sense of poor mental health and poor coping skills. The thing is that I'm not sure that a T whose centre of gravity is Hot Mess is going to be able to exude the calm, detached, well-regulated presence and perspective that makes for a good T.

Honestly, when my T has an active issue of some kind (I generally don't ask about the issue and she doesn't generally disclose) it is often apparent to me in session. Her whole demeanour is affected. In my experience of working in a caring profession, when I am seriously depleted or off kilter I also have less to give. If it were my job to sit still and listen to someone attentively for the better part of an hour, I don't think I'd be modelling the calm, patient, detached & nonjudgmental curiosity that is the mainstay of a T's job.

* do you like my made up empirical data? I just mean having a handle on the whole me-issue/you-issue thing is big fat deal.