I think it takes awhile to learn what triggers us and to dismantle the trigger so they're fewer and farther betweener :-)

I think therapy helps us see them (whereas before they were just pushed out of nowhere) and it can be frustrating not to figure out how to sidestep them once we can see them. "Oh, darn it, he pushed my trigger again!"

It takes time before we can see them and have the time and know-how to disassemble them in peace and quiet.

Maybe you could think of a pleasant thing to say each time you realize one of your triggers has been triggered? Start singing "High Hopes" with Frank Sinatra or something or just laugh and say something like, "There I go again!" If you laugh and stop the arguing or whatever, then your husband can't continue either.