Thanks. My T hasn´t at all mentioned the topic of sex, perhaps because she suspects my inexperience in that area or because she wants me to bring it up.
I think if I was gay I could perhaps be more open about when I find her nice looking but I´m not attracted to her in that way, I think it´s more of an admiration. When she a few times has dressed in more revealing clothes I think that leads me to think more about her in sexual situations rather than wanting to see more of her.
Yes, some time in the future I want a relationship and sex but I find it hard to imagine that as my mental health is sometimes not that good and I can´t think of living with someone and seldom have time on my own. I fear sex because of several reasons so that feels far away even if I´m already way too old for not having had sex.
I aim to have such a discussion as you mean, about sex, how my intimacy issues affect me and such. I really hope I can talk to my T about that without just intellectualising things.
Yes, as you say a T can easily share too much when it comes to sex, I mean too much for the client to handle. I just assume that my T haven´t had such difficulties when it comes to sex but if I met with a T who had her sex debut in her late 30:s, I would want to know that to feel I´m not alone.
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Originally Posted by weaverbeaver
I suppose I am lucky that my t is very open about sex. I feel like I can talk to her about anything.
I recently had a smear test and that brought up a lot as I found it very traumatising.
As a straight woman t didn’t really understand at first but then I explained a bit and she was more curious.
Is your t very open about sex? Usually I find that unless you bring it up they usually wait for you to take the lead.
My t is very attractive and I have told her that many times. She really looks after herself and wears very nice dresses which sometimes reveal legs and breasts.
I think it’s absolutely normal to be curious about what’s under those dresses. My t has never shamed me for my thoughts or feelings about her and for that I am very grateful. She is very comfortable with her own sexuality and I am not very comfortable with mine so her normalising it has been very helpful for me.
Would you ever like to have a r/s Sarah?
Perhaps having a discussion with your t could really help you to explore your feelings and the losses that not having a r/s have meant for you!
I haven’t had another r/s after my first serious one and that was 8 years ago! I don’t know if I will ever want another r/s either.
R/s are not straightforward and sexuality is so fluid. I hate the way society has to put labels on boxes on everyone. I think I am coming to terms with my own sexuality because I used to have so much internalised homophobia but now I think well why should I define myself as gay/ straight. Yes I had a r/s with a woman but yes I also dated men in high school. Yes, I love people but I tend to prefer women. Why should I try to put myself into a category because society needs to know how I show my love to others.
I think that deep down there is something I am picking up from my t about her own sexuality. I wonder if she ever questioned it or wanted to explore it. I went to a t once and she told me she was bisexual and had a R/s with a with a woman for years before she got married. I was shocked by her openness. I think there is a very fine line between being open and disclosing too much.
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