Thanks everyone who has replied... I'm a little overwhelmed by all the responses, but I've read them all and am thinking about it.

I feel like, in my case (and this is over the last ~18 years or so, several therapists) - that I just can't get to the point of feeling any kind of safety/bond. I *know* what that feels like, because I've been lucky enough to have a couple of friends that I felt that close to. I have a friend now who, while he doesn't know everything about my history, does know me incredibly well... and I feel like I can really be myself around him. He's very non-judgmental (more so than the therapists I've seen!) which has been a tremendous gift...

Why can't I have a relationship like that with a therapist? Why can't we ever seem to be on the same page?

In therapy, I tend to feel:

- not accurately seen, not understood.

- sometimes not really listened to. I'm working on this with my current T, but she's got a tendency to interrupt to ask questions, which is bad enough (it makes me feel like she doesn't care about what I'm saying) but the questions often feel like she doesn't understand the point that I'm getting to. It's kind of like, if you were telling someone that you came home and found an intruder in your house... and they interrupted to ask where you had just been, how long the drive home took, etc.

- In the end, I just don't tend to get the cues that make me feel cared about, listened to, understood, etc from therapists. And, what I'm finding is, that I'm often hopeful when I first start seeing one... but as time goes by, and they continue to not get me, I feel like there's less and less that I want to or can talk about. I end up crossing things off my mental list as possible topics to address with T, because their reactions either frustrate me, or are just not helpful.

I don't understand this... because again, I've had friends that were wonderful and incredibly helpful to talk to. Not just that they understood me, but that they offered insight in our discussion that was helpful. Not necessarily advice even, sometimes it was just another perspective or their experience or telling me what pattern they noticed in my behavior, but it always gave me something to think about, and often ended up being helpful.

And I don't seem to get that with Ts.

Even with this T, who is really great in a lot of ways, and is genuinely trying to help me figure this stuff out. It's hard when I talk to her about something, and the response just doesn't *resonate*. Do you all know what I mean? It's hard to put into words, but it just doesn't really seem to click with me... so it feels almost tangential, not related to my situation, etc.